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Lesley's Odd Little Space

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This is my quote page.
The quotes you will find here are from all over.
These quotes don't necessarily fit together, they just struck my fancy.

"Now here at the Rock we have two rules. Memorize them until you can say them in your sleep. Rule number one: obey all rules. Rule number two: no writing on the walls."-Barney Fife

"Its as fun as a barrel of monkeys, only we don't have monkeys or barrels"-Lesley

"There's many times this year I've sat back and thought, I'm making a living from making things up. It's the only skill I have so I've been really lucky."-Colin Mochrie

"Your friend is the person who knows all about you, and still likes you"-Unknown

"If you keep your things in a brown paper bag, no one can see them"-Lesley

"Get my brown pants!"-Colin Mochrie,Whose Line

"Correctamundo!"-Fonzie,Happy Days

"It all started with a badly timed bald joke!"-Colin Mochrie, Whose Line

"The nerve of those Whos! Inviting me down there--and on such short notice! Even if I wanted to go my schedule wouldn't allow it. Four o'clock, wallow in self pity; 4:30, stare into the abyss; 5:00, solve world hunger, tell no one. 5:30, jazzercize. 6:30, dinner with me. I can't cancel that again! 7:00, wrestle with my self-loathing; I'm booked! Of course, if I bump the loathing to 9 I could still be done in time to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling and slip slowly into madness. But what would I wear?!"-The Grinch, How the Grinch Stole Christmas

"We all start out as individuals, completely ourselves. But as we get older we take in the good we see in our friends and recreate ourselves"-Lesley

"It's tough being a sweetheart."-Fonzie, Happy Days

"Oh, I'll be waiting...for my medication to take effect."-Simon, Over the Top

"Run along now Walter, and see if you can't find a unicorn"-Splash

"It's not easy having a good time...even smiling makes my face ache"-Frank, The Rocky Horror Picture Show

**"Homework is not terribly hard, most of it is just busy work designed to cover up the teacher's lack of competence and let them control us even when they aren't there,"-Lesley**

"One and One and One is Three"-The Beatles, Come Together

"Give me liberty or a bran muffin!"-Colin Mochrie, Whose Line

"Men show their character in nothing more clearly than by what they find laughable."-Anonymous

"There's the Fonzarelli code that says, 'If someone slams the door in your face, you don't ring the doorbell so they can slam it back in your face again,' whoa!"-Fonzie,Happy Days

"If I wasn't twisted, I'd be straight"-Lesley

"Hey, Ryan, if Sting retires, will he change his name to Stung?"-Colin Mochrie, Whose Line

"Insanity: a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world."-R. D. Lang

"Thinking: The talking of the soul with itself."-Plato

"One for all and more for me!"-Cardinal Richelieu, The Three Musketeers

"As long as there is imagination left in the world, Disneyland will never be finished."- Walt Disney

"There's not a word yet for old friends that just met"-Gonzo, The Muppet Movie

"I love the nostalgic myself. I hope we never lose some of the things of the past."-Walt Disney

"Sorry, Stonebelly. The better man won, that's all. Or, I should say, the one who brought mercenaries won; that's all!"-Lyle from George of the Jungle

**"Brilliant people frighten me. Brilliant being sarcastic, and frighten being a gross understatement."-Lesley**

"If you utter so much as one syllable, I'LL HUNT YOU DOWN AND GUT YOU LIKE A FISH! If you want to fax me, press the star key."-The Grinch

"We're evil Smurfs, we're evil Smurfs, we're evil, evil evil Smurfs!"-Ryan Stiles

"Never trust sheep"-Ryan Stiles

"Poetry is the way the soul expresses itself. Stories let it masquarade as it pleases."-Lesley

"No parachute? Wow! This is so cool!"-Gonzo, The Muppets

"I'm surrounded by idiots."-Scar, The Lion King

**"I'm probably anti-pop culture for a couple of reasons. One, I'm not exposed to it at home because there are little ones who are only allowed to watch 'Seasame Street' and other educational programs like that. And two, the only other time I'm exposed to it, I'm in the presence of idiots."-Lesley**

"The earth was flat until 1492"-Lesley

"After carefully examination, others could view my life as a sick joke. Thats why I love it and others fear me!"-Lesley

"God creates dinosaurs, God destroys dinosaurs, God creates man, man destroys God, man creates dinosaurs."-Ian Malcolm, Jurassic Park

**"That group consists of four cheerleaders, three rich girls, and two class officers. There was a partridge in a pear tree, but he was kicked out of the group for not sleeping with the football players. The poor guy, but you gotta do, what you gotta do."-Lesley**

"Money is no object, I have lots of it"-Mr. Howell, Gilligan's Island

"Spitting, its all in the wrist"-John L.

"Disguises can only hold our true self so well."-Lesley

"Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same."-Unknown

"I think flies are idiots"-John

"And for you kids watching at home, remember, the less homework you do and the closer you sit to the TV, the more points you get."-Drew Carey, Whose Line

"It was brought to my attention once that I don't do anything normal. And I said, 'yeah?'"-Lesley

"Well really. That's no way to behave on your first day out. But since you're such an exceptional beauty, I am prepared to forgive you."-Dr. Frank-N-Furtur, The Rocky Horror Picture Show

"A watched pot never boils. Especially if there is nothing in it and it's not being heated."-Lesley

"I can't sprinkle sprinkles on. I lose control when I have sprinkles. I'm shaky. I still remember the great sprinkle accident of 1982."-Ryan Stiles, Whose Line

"Acid rain is BAD!!!"-Ellen and Lesley

"Im in a garden. A beautiful garden. Within the walls of my garden, there are no idiots. I am safe, I am happy, and I am calm. There is no reason to kill anyone. Im in a garden"-Jennifer (Proverb of Yak)

"Jane, since I've met you I've noticed things that I never knew were there before; birds singing, dew glistening on a newly formed leaf, stoplights."-Frank Drebin, Naked Gun

"I put it on my head like so, and I look like Jiffy Pop. That's why I say, Jiffy Pop."-Ryan Stiles, Whose Line

"You're a hot dog, but you better not try to hurt her, Frank Furter."-Brad, The Rocky Horror Picture Show

"Pardon me, girls. I know you're feeling pretty hey sailor up here about now. But if you would just let me order a bowl of fried clams we can all have smallpox tomorrow morning."-Lyle from George of the Jungle

"Just think, next time I shoot someone, I could be arrested."-Frank Drebin, Naked Gun

"We're expecting a lot of rain in the state of Oregon, so let's just get rid of Oregon."-Ryan Stiles, Whose Line

"If the phoenix bird can fly, than so can I"-Elton John, Grey Seal

"I shouldn't b----, I shouldn't cry, I'd start a revolution, but I don't have time"-Billy Joel, Borderline

"Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused."-Anonymous

"Chocolate Butterfries!"-Vanessa

"Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.-Les Brown

"Who's more foolish? The fool, or the fool who follows him?"-Obi Wan

"You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one."-John Lennon, Imagine

"Yeah, but when the Pirates of the Carribean breaks down, the pirates don't eat the tourists."-Ian Malcolm, Jurassic Park

"I suppose you're just some harmless beach-comber who happens to wear a tuxedo!"-Walter Kornbluth, Splash

"Sallah, I said NO camels! That's FIVE camels; can't you count?"-Indiana Jones

**"It's like they hit you in the head with a board and say 'oh, you'll get used to it.'"-Lesley**

"To all who come to this happy place, welcome. Disneyland is your land. Here, age relives fond memories of the past, and here, youth may savor the challenge and promise of the future. Disneyland is dedicated to the ideals, the dreams, and the hard facts that have created America, with the hope that it will be a source of joy and inspiration to all the world."-Walt Disney, Opening Dedication of Disneyland

"When life hands you lemons, make kiwi poptarts" -Weird Al Newsletter

"And in time of greatest despair there shall come a savior and he shall be known as: The son of the sun."-Journal of the Whills (3:12)(The Original Opening Line To Star Wars)

"I've never been a posse before. What do I wear?"-Floyd Lawson, The Andy Griffith Show

"I am a peanut"-Ellen

"I got rhythm, I got music, I got a bottle of vodka, can I come in"-Johnny LaGuardia, Times Square

"You can wake up now, the universe has ended."-Jim Stark, Rebel Without A Cause

"It's a dinglehopper! Humans use these little babies... to straighten their hair out. See? Just a little twirl here and a yank there and voila! You've got an aesthetically pleasing configuration of hair that humans go nuts over!"-Scuttle, The Little Mermaid

"Size matters not."-Yoda, The Empire Strikes Back

"Uh-uh, Mother-m-mother, uh, what is the phrase? She isn't quite herself today."-Norman Bates, Psycho

"What kind of place is this? It's beautiful: Pigeons fly, women fall from the sky! I'm moving here!"-Guido, Life is Beautiful

"I do believe in spooks. I do believe in spooks. I do! I do! I do! I do believe in spooks. I do believe in spooks. I do! I do! I do! I do!"-Lion, The Wizard of Oz

"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."-Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride

"Redrum! Redrum! Redrum!"-Danny, The Shining

"It shakes all over like a jelly fish, I kinda like it."-Freddie Mercury, Crazy Little Thing Called Love

"It's against my programming to impersonate a deity."-C-3PO, Return Of The Jedi

"You are a sad, strange, little man. You have my pity. Farewell."-Buzz Lightyear, Toy Story

"Everyone's lost but me."-Indiana Jones, ...And The Last Crusade

"Last night, Darth Vader came down from planet Vulcan and told me that if I didn't take Lorraine out that he'd melt my brain."-George McFly, Back to the Future

"The early bird gathers no moss! The rolling stone catches the worm!"-Truman Burbank, The Truman Show

"How do you explain school to a higher intelligence?"-Elliot, E.T.

"Oh, there's the usual things: flowers, chocolates, promises you don't intend to keep..."-Cogsworth, Beauty and The Beast

"You can't stop change any more than you can stop the suns from setting."-Shmi Skywalker, The Phantom Menace

"Oh, you should never, never doubt what nobody is sure about."-Willy Wonka,...and the Chocolate Factory

"Oops, sorry little old lady, I must have hugged you by accident!"-Ellen

"Do not bring your evil into my swamp."-Swamp Thing, Swamp Thing

"Oh, you're just full of fun today, aren't you? Why don't we go up to the old people's home and wax the steps?"-Barney Fife, The Andy Griffith Show

"Yoda! You seek Yoda! Take you to him, I will."-Yoda, The Empire Strikes Back

"Don't think, just know."-Ellen

"Can't help it. I'm a born lever-puller."-Ringo, Yellow Submarine

"Bates Motel... 12 rooms, 12 vacancies."-Norman Bates, Pyscho

"Are you hinting my apples aren't what they ought to be?"-The Apple Tree, The Wizard Of Oz

"That wasn't flying, that was falling with style!"-Woody, Toy Story

"The way I see it, if you're gonna build a time machine into a car, why not do it with some style?"-Doctor Emmet Brown, Back to the Future

"It was Dad. I swear! Dressed like a homeless man. And you know what else was strange? A business man and a woman with a little dog came out of nowhere and forced him onto a bus."-Truman Burbank ,The Truman Show

"Now the snarfblatt dates back to prehysterical times when humans used to sit around and stare at each other all day. Got very boring. So the snarfblatt was invented to make fine music."-Scuttle, The Little Mermaid

"'The Muppet Movie,' huh? 'Exterior swamp, day. In a long helicopter shot, we discover Kermit the Frog playing the banjo and singing..."-Dr. Teeth, The Muppet Movie

"I'm a donkey on the edge!"-Donkey, Shrek

"You're not quite evil enough. You're semi-evil. You're quasi-evil. You're the margarine of evil. You're the Diet Coke of evil, just one calorie, not evil enough."-Dr. Evil, Austin Powers

"I'm from England, the country that used to own you people."-Daphne, Fraiser

"Don't worry, I'm not who I used to be. I've had extensive therapy. I realize that I have been using food as a substitute for love and I have the books to prove it-'Breaking the Cycle', 'Heal Yourself in 7 Days', 'Stop Blaming Yourself, Please', and 'Help for the Bed-wetting Child', which I picked up by mistake."-Wolf, The 10th Kingdom

"Some of you are going to die, but its a sacrifice I'm willing to make."-Lord Farquaad, Shrek

"You can lose all your points for any one of three things. One: If you cry. Two: If you ask to see your mother. Three: If you're hungry and ask for a snack! Forget it!"-Guido, Life Is Beautiful

"Smile, it can't get any worse than this!' said the little old man. Then it did."-Grandpa Plate

"My way's not very sports-man-like."-Fezzik, The Princess Bride

"As my assistant, occasionally you may need to assist me."-Mike, Spin City

"You're still here? It's over. Go home."-Ferris Bueller, ...'s Day Off

"American components, Russian components, all made in Taiwan!"-Lev, Armageddon

"This is Chuck to remind Bill to SHUT UP!"-Chuck, Night Shift

"'The Suck Zone.' It's the point basically when the twister... sucks you up. That's not the technical term for it, obviously."-Dusty, Twister

"Because, unlike some other Robin Hoods, I can speak with an English accent."-Robin, Robin Hood: Men in Tights

"No, no! 'Rare' implies dangerously cooked. When I say rare I mean just let it look at the oven in terror, then bring it out to me."-Wolf, The Tenth Kingdom

"You never had a camera inside my head"-Truman, The Truman Show

"Here's Johnny!"-Jack Torrance, The Shinning

"So why don't you make like a tree and get outta here."-Biff Tannen, Back to the Future

"Oh, I'm not here with these fellas. I've got a pig in competition over at the livestock pavilion, and I am going to win that blue ribbon!"-Lenny, That Thing You Do

"I do have a test today, that wasn't b---s---. It's on European socialism. I mean, really! What's the point? I'm not European...I don't plan on being European. So who gives a crap if they're socialists? They could be facist anarchists...It still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a car!"-Ferris, ...Bueller's Day Off

"They're probably foreigners with ways different than our own. They may do some more...folk dancing. "-Brad, The Rocky Horror Picture Show

"It's Dr. Evil, I didn't spend six years in Evil Medical School to be called 'mister,' thank you very much."-Dr. Evil, Austin Powers

"A) A guy moves into town 2) He has no money and C, he wants to marry Mrs. Mendelmright."-Barney, The Andy Griffith Show

"A place where there isn't any trouble. Do you suppose there is such a place Toto? There must be. It's not a place you can get to by a boat or a train. It's far, far away. Behind the moon, beyond the rain."-Dorothy, The Wizard Of Oz

"No. I AM your father."-Darth Vader

"Buongiorno, Principessa!"-Guido, Life is Beautiful

"I won't speak of disgusting things because they disgust me!"-Mother, Phsyco

"Um, he's sick. My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with a girl who saw Ferris pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious."-Simone, Ferris Bueller's Day Off

"Eventually, you do plan to have dinosaurs on your dinosaur tour, right?"-Ian Malcolm, Jurassic Park

"If you can dream it, you can do it."-Walt Disney

"Good night Westley, good work, sleep well, I'm most likely to kill you in the morning."-The Dread Pirate Roberts, The Princess Bride

"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."-Drew Carey, ... Show

"You're insane, but you might also be brilliant."-George Shapiro, Man on the Moon

"So come up to the lab and see what's on the slab. I see you shiver with antici... pation."-Dr. Frank-N-Furter, The Rocky Horror Picture Show

"It's not that I condone facism....or any 'ism' for that matter. 'Isms' in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an 'ism', they should believe in themself. I quote John Lennon, 'I don't believe in Beatles...I just believe in me.' A good point there. After all, he was the walrus. I could be the walrus, but I'd still have to bum rides off of people!"-Ferris, ...Bueller's Day Off

"We're going to sell them cheap books and legal addictive stimulants. In the meantime, we'll just put up a big sign: 'Coming soon, a FoxBooks superstore and the end of civilization as you know it.'"-Joe Fox, You've Got Mail

"I give blood all the time. Just between you and me, Roy, I'll do anything for a sugar cookie."-Lowell Mather, Wings

"Failure is not an option."-Gene Kranz, Apollo 13

"Don't worry Wilson, I'll do all the paddling. You just hang on!"-Chuck, Cast Away

"Today we're teaching poodles how to fly!"-Raul Hernandez, UHF

"There he goes, off to his room, to write that hit song, 'Alone In My Principles.'"-Lenny, That Thing You Do

"If a duck stands still, you can catch him by the bill."-Ernest T. Bass, The Andy Griffith Show

"Oh, by the way, I hope your son is feeling better. Tell him all the guys at the station are pulling for him."-Police Sergeant, Ferris Bueller

"Say, do any of you guys know how to Madison?"-Brad, The Rocky Horror Picture Show

"Waiter, I'm in my soup!"-Fly, A Bug's Life

"How exciting to be present at the birth of a new phobia."-Niles Crane, Fraiser

"You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely"-Ogden Nash

"Yes, you're very smart. Shut up."-Grandfather, The Princess Bride

"Ferris Bueller, you're my hero."-Cameron, Ferris Bueller

"All you need is love, John Lennon, smart man, shot in the back very sad."-Julius Levinson, Independence Day

"I hate it when I know everything!"-Rockhound, Armageddon

"Wait a minute! Why don't they just mix the mayonnaise with the tuna in the can... HOLD THE PHONE! Why don't they just FEED the tuna fish mayonnaise! [speaks into tape recorder] Call Starkist!"-Bill, Night Shift

"I finally cracked Mr. Wick's password. The code was 'Mr. Wick.'"-Mimi, The Drew Carey Show

"Well we'll move, and hopefully our problems won't follow us."-Daniel, Mrs. Doubtfire

"I would like, if I may to take you on a strange journey."-The Criminologist, The Rocky Horror Picture Show

"Lesbian Nazi Hookers Abducted by UFOs and Forced Into Weight Loss Programs---all next week on Town Talk!"-George Newman, UHF

"Prepare for the fight scene!"-Robin, Robin Hood: Men in Tights

"Who is it? Oh, I'm sorry I can't come to the door right now. I'm afraid that in my weakened condition, I could take a nasty spill down the stairs and subject myself to further school absences. You can reach my parents at their places of business. Thank you for stopping by, I appreciate your concern for my well being. Have a nice day."-Ferris, ... Bueller's Day Off

"Since you've all been such good boys and girls, I would like to take everybody in this entire audience out for milk and cookies. There are buses outside. Everybody follow me."-Andy Kaufman, Man on the Moon

"You guys look great in black, have I told you that?"-Mr. White, That Thing You Do

"You guys look great in gold, have I told you that?"-Mr. White, That Thing You Do

"You guys look great in red, have I told you that?"-Mr. White, That Thing You Do

"Put on your Sunday best kids; we're going to Sears!"-Mike Brady, The Brady Bunch Movie

"She thinks she's the greatest actress since... since... sliced bread!"-Joey, Friends

"Hakuna Matata"-Timon and Pumbaa, The Lion King

"We're not laughing at you - we're laughing near you."-John Keating, Dead Poets Society

"Why doesn't anyone listen to me? I speak simple English, I don't have an accent as far as I can tell."-Ian Malcolm, Jurassic Park, The Lost World

"If I had known I was gonna meet the president I would've worn a tie. Look at me, I look like a schliemiel."-Julius Levison, Independence Day

"I woulda worn my tuxedo but my polo pony ate it!"-Squiggy, Laverne and Shirley

"Oh, it's probably some kind of hunting lodge for rich weirdos."-Brad, The Rocky Horror Picture Show

"You're living in the past father, this is the 14th century!"-Prince Phillip, Sleeping Beauty

"You aren't going to fire me. My face is on buses."-Jack Taylor, One Fine Day

"Why is it that all the gorgeous ones are homicidal maniacs? Is it me?"-Batman, Batman and Robin

"I would like to say this. Tardiness is not something you can do on your own. Many, many people contributed to my tardiness. I would like to thank my parents for never giving me a ride to school, the LA city bus driver who took a chance on an unknown kid and last but not least, the wonderful crew from McDonalds who spend hours making those egg McMuffins without which I'd never be tardy."-Travis, Clueless

"This is the dumbest thing Brian's ever done, and he once painted me blue."-Joe, Wings

"You're not thinking fourth dimensionally, Marty!"-Doctor Emmett Brown, Back to the Future III

"You're traveling through another dimension. A dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind; a journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That's the signpost up ahead -- your next stop, The Twilight Zone!"-Narrator, The Twilight Zone

"Some people without brains do an awful lot of talking."-Scarecrow, The Wizard Of Oz

"What, did you take Stupid Pills this morning?"-Mr. Potato Head, Toy Story

"Forgive me for not jumping for joy. Bad back, you know."-Scar, The Lion King

"If this turns into a nun's bar, I'm outta here."-Biker, Sister Act

"Merchandising, merchandising, where the real money from the movie is made. Spaceballs the T-shirt. Spaceballs the lunchbox. Spaceballs the coloring book. Spaceballs... the flame thrower! Kids love it. And my favorite, Spaceballs the Doll -- me!"-Yogurt, Spaceballs

"I'm really a nice guy. If I had friends you could ask them!"-Walter Kornbluth, Splash

"Don't be stupid, be a smarty. Come and join the Nazi party."-Singer, The Producers

"He looks so sweet. Looks just like a little entree."-Morticia Addams, The Addams Family

"If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer!"-Ace, Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

"I can't dance. My limbs are lethal weapons. Innocent people got hurt trying to teach me dance."-Angus, Angus

"Any new way to infiltrate myself into your minds."-Tim Curry, The Making of Gabriel Knight

"There's a time to think, and a time to act. And this, gentlemen, is no time to think."-Boomer, Canadian Bacon

"Wait, we can not break bread with you. You have taken the land which is rightfully ours. Years from now my people will be forced to live in mobile homes on reservations. Your people will wear cardigans, and drink highballs. We will sell our bracelets by the road sides, and you will play golf. My people will have pain and degradation. Your people will have stick shifts. The gods of my tribe have spoken. They said do not trust the pilgrims. And especially do not trust Sarah Miller. For all these reasons I have decided to scalp you and burn your village to the ground."-Wednesday, Addams Family Values

"This is my report on the oceans of the world. There are no oceans in Kansas. There are no oceans in Nebraska. There are no oceans in Neveda. There are no oceans in Minnesota. There are no oceans in Iowa. There are no-- [Teacher interrupts.] I thought you wanted us to go into detail."-Sally, A Charlie Brown Celebration

"First rule in government spending: why build one when you can have two at twice the price?"-S.R. Hadden, Contact

"Ferris get off of the float!"-Sloane, Ferris Bueller's Day Off

"What's the matter, Colonel Sandurz? CHICKEN???"-Dark Helmet, Spaceballs

"When I get angry, Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset. And when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset... people die!"-Dr. Evil, Austin Powers

"Oh, I tell ya, Camilla, great plumbers are born, not made! I'm the prince of plungers, fair maiden!"-Gonzo, The Muppet Show

"Now Daddy is part of God. I guess when you die you become much more bigger, because you're part of everything."-Sean Lennon

"The satellite is now over... Kansas. Well, if we blow up Kansas the world may not hear about it for years!"-Blofeld, Diamonds are Forever

"Elegant elephants everywhere, enjoy eating eggs."-Oswald and Lewis, The Drew Carey Show

"Well, it's that time of year again where the smell of mistletoe, matzoh balls and kilbasa fill the air -- and what better way to say 'Happy Holiday and get back here with that kilbasa!' than with the gift of Al."-Weird Al Newsletter

"I'm the chicken from the great beyond. Fear me!"-Chicken from the Great Beyond, cartoon on the white board in Blocher's room

"Gabriel Knight is VERY, very cool. And impossibly handsome. So of course, they picked me."-Tim Curry, The Making of Gabriel Knight

"You have exactly ten seconds to change that look of disgusting pity into one of enormous respect!"-Max Bialystock, The Producers

"So, Lone Star, now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb."-Dark Helmet, Spaceballs
"Unless someone died.  And that's never good."-Allison

"So you mean you'll put down your rock and I'll put down my sword and we'll try and kill each other like civilized people?"-Man In Black, The Princess Bride

"It's a little childish and stupid, but then, so is high school."-Ferris, ... Bueller's Day Off

"Don't get strung out by the way I look. Don't judge a book by its cover. I'm not much of a man by the light of day but by night I'm one hell of a lover. I'm just a sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania"-Dr. Frank N. Furter, The Rocky Horror Picture Show
"Sure he's great, but can he make balloon animals?"-Steve Martin, The Muppet Show

"When nine hundred years old you reach, look as good you will not. Hmm?"-Yoda, Return of the Jedi

"We accept the reality of the world with which we are presented."-Christof, The Truman Show

"You're tearing me apart!"-Jim Stark, Rebel Without A Cause

"A dog can't get struck by lightning. you know why? 'Cause he's too close to the ground. See, lightning strikes tall things. Now if they were giraffes out there in the field, now then we'd have trouble."-Barney Fife, The Andy Griffith Show

"Sonny, true love is the greatest thing in the world; except for a nice MLT - Mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich - when the Mutton is nice and lean, and the tomato's ripe. They're so perky. I love that."-Max, The Princess Bride

"So the combination is one, two, three, four, five? That's the stupidest combination I've ever heard! That's the kind of combination an idiot would put on his luggage!"-Dark Helmet, Spaceballs

"You're an accountant! You're in a noble profession! The word 'count' is part of your title!"-Max Bialystock, The Producers

"Denial is not just a river in England."-Nina, Just Shoot Me

"Kindly do not attempt to cloud the issue with facts"-George Banks, Mary Poppins

"I was in the hall. I know because I was there."-Wadsworth, Clue

"It's not my fault being the biggest and the strongest. I don't even exercise."-Fezzik, The Princess Bride

"Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!"-Wizard of Oz

"Easier done then said"-Dr. Teeth

"Homicide: our day begins when yours ends."-John Munch, Homicide

"I'm gonna die! I'm gonna throw up, then I'm gonna die!"-Grinch, How the Grinch Stole Christmas

"I seem to have a special place in my heart for the albums that sell the most copies."-Weird Al

"Good morning! And in case I don't see you: good afternoon, good evening and good night!"-Truman, The Truman Show

"His real passion was hybrid corn."-Walter Bernstein, Inside Out

"Name me an emperor who was ever struck by a cannonball."-Charles V

"Winkin' will tell Blinkin', Blinkin' will tell Nod, Nod will tell Barney, and Barney will tell you."-Andy, The Andy Griffith Show

"Well, I'm certainly more inclined to be attracted to somebody who likes my work than someone who thinks I'm an idiot."-Weird Al

"She just goes a little mad sometimes. We all go a little mad sometimes. Haven't you?"-Norman Bates, Phsyco

"If you hurt my sister they will never find any piece of you! Not even your glasses! Remember, I am a janitor, I know how to dispose of things!"-Lewis, The Drew Carey Show

"You cant say civilization don't every war they kill you a new way."-Will Rogers

"Join the army, see the world, meet interesting people, and kill them."-Unknown

"When walking through a melon patch, dont adjust your sandals."-Chinese Proverb

"I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I dont deserve that either."-Jack Benny

"No man is lonely while eating spaghetti."-Robert Morley

"I think the solution is staying away from really drunk idiots."-Weird Al

"Ohhh! Great warrior! Wars not make one great!"-Yoda, The Empire Strikes Back

"I prefer my oysters fried; That way I know my oysters died."-Roy G. Blount, Jr.

"The less things change, the more they remain the same."-Sicilian proverb

"Ive given up reading books, I find it take my mind of myself."-Oscar Levant

"All of us learn to write in the second grade. Most of us go on to greater things."-Bobby Knight

"I look forward to natural disasters. I used to go tobogganing when I was a kid, so it should be a real blast when my house finally slides down the hill."-Weird Al

"A bear in his natural habitat. A Studebaker."-Fozzie Bear, The Muppet Movie

"When in doubt, have two guys come through the door with guns."-Raymond Chandler

"Rock and roll is the hamburger that ate the world."-Peter York

"If you want to make it in show business, get the h--- out of Oregon."-Sophie Tucker

"Maybe there was a naked guy, but he had a bedsheet."-Chelsea

"Although I have never read Karl Marx and I don't know the basis of communism, beyond what I have picked up from hearsay. From what I hear, I don't like it because it isn't on the level."-Gary Cooper

"No. Absolutely nothing. I was perfect in every way. With the exception of that one tiny train-derailing incident."-Weird Al

"Oh! I thought they smelled bad on the outside!"-Han Solo, The Empire Strikes Back

"I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind! The answer is twelve? I think I'm in the wrong building."-Charles Shultz

"After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one."-Cato the Elder

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but please don't throw stick or stones."-Gilligan, Gilligan's Island

"Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names."-John F. Kennedy

"Logic is in the eye of the logician."-Gloria Steinem

"I'm a bargain at just $27,000!"-Weird Al

"I'm a big tough girl, I tie my own sandles and everything."-Megara, Hercules

"I have a rock garden. Last week three of them died."-Richard Diran

"Wow, everything's black and spinning."-Allison

"His writing is fresh and action packed."-Peltier

"Go away dull pain."-Chelsea

"Remember that girl who had the same first name as you? What was her name?"-Oswald, The Drew Carey Show

"Now that you mention it, sometimes I get really creeped out when I wake up in the morning and my mouth is full of spiders. Yuck."-Weird Al

"For what we are about to see next, we must enter quietly into the realm of genius!"-Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein, Young Frankenstein

"A sense of humor means looking at things from an offbeat angle."-Malcolm Kushner

"May I come in? I have flowers."-Wolf, The Tenth Kingdom

"If you get stabbed, save the knife for me, won't you?"-Acorn the Dwarf, The Tenth Kingdom

"He's very clean."-Paul, A Hard Day's Night

"Over there we have a bunch of turkeys. They don't gobble anymore because they're frozen."-Chef at Busch Gardens

"I wasn't a nerd in high school. I was King of the Nerds! Straight-A student, school valedictorian... even the teachers wanted to beat me up."-Weird Al

"I'm afraid to go to the bathroom with the arm."-Chelsea

"Don't drink our coffee and lie."-Ray, Everybody Loves Raymond

"Piranhas, yeah, they hurt."-Mr. Clark

"We know how to behave! We've had lessons."-John Lennon, A Hard Days Night
"Let's make it a song."-Allison
"A salute to all nations, but mostly America."-Sam Eagle, Muppets 3*D

**"May I ask why I'm here?"-Mara
"On a phylisophical level, like why are any of us here, or on a kidnapping level, like why am I being abducted?'"-Lloyd**
"I took the Urkel kid home to his parents. They were pretty upset."-Lt. Murtaugh
"Because he had been in jail?"-Carl
"No. Because I brought him back."-Lt. Murtaugh
(Family Matters)
"How do you feel?"-John
"I used to use me hands."-Ringo
"He used to use his hands."-John
"He didn't fall! Inconceivable!"-Vizzini
"You keep using that word? I do not think it means what you think it means."-Inigo
(The Princess Bride)
"Do you always deflect personal questions with jokes?"-Dr. Audrey Jackson
"Do you always deflect jokes with personal questions?"-John Munch
(Law and Order, SVU)
"Dad, can I please wear this?"-Barbara Lovell
"Sure."-Jim Lovell
"Jim!"-Marilyn Lovell
"No! No, absolutely not."-Jim Lovell
(Apollo 13)
"There is no doubt that our attractions will drive children out of their minds."-John Hammond
"What are those?"-Alan Grant
"Small versions of adults, honey."-Ellie Sattler
(Jurassic Park)
"What was it that first attracted you to me?"-Ringo
"Well, you're very polite, aren't you?"-John
"Hey, buddy, I'm not paying you to share your thoughts on life. I'm paying you to sing."-Man
"Well, I have a microphone, and you don't, so you will listen to every d--- word I have to say!"-Robbie
(The Wedding Singer)
"Guess what, GUESS WHAT?!"-Rachel
"The fifth dentist finally caved and now they ALL recommend Trident?"-Chandler
"What was the Donner Party?"-Danny
"They were a party of settlers in covered-wagon times. They got snowbound one winter in the mountains. They had to resort to cannibalism in order to stay alive."-Jack
"You mean they ate each other up?"-Danny
"They had to, in order to survive."-Jack
"Don't worry, Mom. I know all about cannibalism. I saw it on TV."-Danny
"See, it's OK. He saw it on the television."-Jack
(The Shining)
"Your Peter Pan complex is so 90s."-Melanie
"What Peter Pan complex?"-Jack
"The one you're so proud of."-Melanie
"Do you have any friends?"-Jack
"I don't have time for friends."-Melanie
"That's because of your Captain Hook complex."-Jack
(One Fine Day)
"The jungle king was pleased to find that he looked pretty good in Armani."-Narrator
"Pretty darn good."-George
(George of the Jungle)
"Then tell me, 'future boy', who is president in the United States in 1985?"-Doc Brown
"Ronald Reagan."-Marty
"Ronald Reagan? The actor?! Who's Vice President? Jerry Lewis?"-Doc Brown
"I suppose Jane Wyman is the first lady! And Jack Benny is secretary of the treasury! I've had enough practical jokes for one evening! Good day, future boy!"-Doc Brown
(Back to the Future)
"Has success changed your life?"-Reporter
(A Hard Day's Night)
"This never would have happened if your father had been here."-Blinkin
"He's dead?"-Robin
"And my mother?"-Robin
"She died of pneumonia while -- while you were away.-Blinkin
"My dog Pongo?"-Robin
"Run over by a carriage."-Blinkin
"My goldfish Goldie?"-Robin
"Eaten by the cat."-Blinkin
"My cat?"-Robin
"Choked on the goldfish. It's great to be home, isn't it, Master Robin?"-Blinkin
(Robin Hood: Men in Tights)
"I thought Alex had better taste in men than to go out with you."-Helen
"Well, obviously, she doesn't."-Brian
"You're just going to have to figure out what it wants. What is its motivation?"-Alexander
"It's a rock monster. It doesn't have motivation."-Jason
(Galaxy Quest)
"Oh wait a minute, don't tell me who you are."-Lady
"No I'm not."-John
"Oh you are."-Lady
"I'm not."-John
"Oh you are, I know you are."-Lady
"I'm not, no."-John
"You look just like him."-Lady
"Do I? You're the first one that's said that ever."-John
"Yes you do, look."-Lady
"No my eyes are lighter. The nose."-John
"Oh yes your nose is very."-Lady
"Is it?"-John
"I would have said so."-Lady
"You know him better though."-John
"I do not. He's only a casual acquaintance."-Lady
"That's what you say."-John
"What have you heard?"-Lady
"It's all over the place."-John
"Is it? Is it really?"-Lady
"But I wouldn't have it. I stuck up for you."-John
"I knew I could rely on you."-Lady
[puts on her glasses]"You don't look like him at all."-Lady
[John walks away pouting]
"She looks more like him than I do."-John
(A Hard Day's Night)
"I challenge you to a battle of wits."-Man in Black
"For the princess? To the death? I accept!"-Vizzini
"Good, then pour the wine. Inhale this but do not touch."-Man in Black
"I smell nothing."-Vizzini
"What you do not smell is Iocaine powder. It is odorless, tasteless, and dissolves instantly in liquid and is among the more deadly poisons known to man."-Man in Black
"[turning his back, and adding the poison to one of the goblets] Alright, where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink - and find out who is right, and who is dead."-Man in Black
"But it's so simple. All I have to do is divine it from what I know of you. Are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet or his enemy's? Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you...But you must have known I was not a great fool; you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me."-Vizzini
"You've made your decision then?"-Man in Black
"Not remotely! Because Iocaine comes from Australia. As everyone knows, Australia is entirely peopled with criminals. And criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me. So, I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you."-Vizzini
"Truly, you have a dizzying intellect."-Man in Black
"Wait 'till I get going!! ...where was I?"-Vizzini
"Australia."-Man in Black
"Yes! Australia! And you must have suspected I would have known the powder's origin,so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me."-Vizzini
"You're just stalling now."-Man in Black
"You'd like to think that, wouldn't you! You've beaten my giant, which means you're exceptionally you could have put the poison in your own goblet trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you've also bested my Spaniard, which means you must have studied...and in studying you must have learned that man is mortal so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me!"-Vizzini
"You're trying to trick me into giving away something. It won't work."-Man in Black
"It has worked! You've given everything away! I know where the poison is!"-Vizzini
"Then make your choice."-Man in Black
"I will, and I choose...[pointing behind the man in black] What in the world can that be?"-Vizzini
"[turning around, while Vizzini switches goblets] What?! Where?! I don't see anything."-Man in Black
"Oh, well, I...I could have sworn I saw something. No matter."-Vizzini
(The Princess Bride)
"How did you find America?"-Reporter
"Turned left at Greenland."-John
(A Hard Day's Night)
"Man... what do you get a guy who's just lost the girl of his dreams and is having a gay green-card wedding just to get his crappy job back?"-Lewis
"Champagne flutes?"-Oswald
"You read my mind."-Lewis
(The Drew Carey Show)
"I shall call the guard?"-Man On Train
"Ah, but what? They don't take kindly to insults you know."-Paul
(A Hard Day's Night)
"You don't know the real me."-Andy Kaufman
"There isn't a real you."-Lynne
"Oh yeah, I forgot."-Andy Kaufman
(Man on the Moon)
"You mock my pain!"-Buttercup
"Life is pain, Highness! Anyone who says differently is selling something."-Westley
(The Princess Bride)
"That's not your grandfather."-George
"It is, you know."-Paul
"But I've seen your grandfather, he lives in your house."-George
(A Hard Day's Night)
"Santa, don't forget the Grinch. I know he's mean and hairy and smelly, and his hands are cold and clammy, but I think he's kinda... sweet."-Cindy Lou Who
"SWEET!...You think he's sweet? ... Cute kid, bad judge of character."-The Grinch
(How the Grinch Stole Christmas)
"I appreciate your understanding."-Maitre D'
"Don't think twice. It's understanding that makes it possible for people like us to tolerate a person like yourself."-Ferris
"Thank you."-Maitre D'
"Don't mention it."-Ferris
(Ferris Bueller's Day Off)
"Don't take that tone with me young man. I fought the war for your sort."-Man on train
"I bet you're sorry you won."-Ringo
(A Hard Day's Night) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Why won't my arms move?"-Westley
"You've been mostly dead all day."-Fezzik
(The Princess Bride)
"You are the worst wedding singer in the world, buddy!"-Man
"Sir, one more outburst, I will strangle you with my microphone wire. You understand me?"-Robbie
(The Wedding Singer)
"Look, it's a school of whales."-Paul
"They look a little bit old for school."-Ringo
"University then."-Paul
"University of whales."-Ringo
"They look like drop-outs to me."-John
(Yellow Submarine)
"You turning soft on me, Jack?"-Danielle
"You know I'm a sucker for an execution. I'm just here for the tortellini."-Jack McCoy
(Law and Order)
"Knock on my door! Knock next time!"-Dark Helmet
"Yes, sir!"-Colonel Sandurz
"Did you see anything?"-Dark Helmet
"No, sir! I didn't see you playing with you dolls again."-Colonel Sandurz
"Good!"-Dark Helmet
"Pepperland is a tickle of joy on the blue belly of the universe. It must be scratched. Right, Max?"-Chief Blue Meanie
"Yes, Your Blueness."-Max
"WHAT?! We Meanies only take 'no' for an answer! Is that understood, Max?"-Chief Blue Meanie
"No, Your Blueness!"-Max
"That's better.-Chief Blue Meanie
(Yellow Submarine)
"I do not suppose you could speed things up?"-Inigo
"If you're in such a hurry you could lower a rope or a tree branch or find something useful to do."-Man in Black
"I could do that. I still got some rope up here. But I do not think you would accept my help, since I am only waiting around to kill you."-Inigo
"That does put a damper on our relationship."-Man in Black
(The Princess Bride)
"You kind of let me down on that San Antonio job."-Walter Harvey
"I, uh, yeh, I, uh... I freely admit, sir, I had no right to... sell off the team's equipment like that; that won't happen again."-Jimmy
"Let me be blunt. Are you still a fall-down drunk?"-Walter Harvey
"Well, that is blunt. Ahem. No sir, I've, uh, quit drinking."-Jimmy
"You've seen the error of your ways."-Walter Harvey
"No, I just can't afford it."-Jimmy
"It's funny to you. Your drinking is funny. You're a young man, Jimmy: you still could be playing, if you just would've laid off the booze."-Walter Harvey
"Well, it's not exactly like that... I hurt my knee."-Jimmy
"You fell out of a hotel! That's how you hurt it."-Walter Harvey
"Well, there was a fire."-Jimmy
"Which you started, which I had to pay for."-Walter Harvey
"Well, now, I was going to send you a thank-you card, Mr. Harvey, but I wasn't allowed anything sharp to write with."-Jimmy
(A League of Their Own)
"It's no longer a blue world, Max. Where can we go?"-Chief Blue Meanie
(Yellow Submarine)
"Ah. Are you coming down into the pit? Westley's got his strength back. I'm starting him on the machine tonight."-Count Rugen
"Tyrone, you know how much I love watching you work, but I've got my country's 500th anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder and Guilder to frame for it; I'm swamped."-Humperdink
(The Princess Bride)
"Look! There's a cyclops!"-Paul
"Can't be. It's got two eyes."-George
"Must be a bicyclops then."-John
"Look, there's another one! A whole cyclopedia!"-Ringo
(Yellow Submarine)
"Wanna hear something weird?"-Ross
"It just feels so weird."-Gonzo
"You mean that Mr. Aeral's dead?"-Rizzo
"Yeah, that... and my pants are filled with starfish."-Gonzo
"You and your hobbies!"-Rizzo
(Muppet Treasure Island)
"I tried 'nice' once. Didn't care for it."-Frank
"Is that what happened to 'smart'?"-Marie
(Everybody Loves Raymond)
"Is this made from real lemons?"-Girl Scout
"I only like all-natural foods and beverages, organically grown, with no preservatives. Are you sure they're real lemons?"-Girl Scout
"I'll tell you what. I'll buy a cup if you buy a box of my delicious Girl Scout cookies. Do we have a deal?"-Girl Scout
"Are they made from real Girl Scouts?"-Wednesday
(The Addams Family)
"It's some kind of a blind fiend."-Rizzo
"I believe they prefer visually challenged fiend."-Gonzo
(Muppet Treasure Island)
"Hey Ace, got anymore of that gum?"-Marino
"That's none of your damn business and I'll thank you to stay out of my personal affairs."-Ace
(Ace Ventura: Pet Detective)
"I can't compete with you physically, and you're no match for my brains."-Vizzini
"You're that smart?"-Man in Black
"Let me put it this way: Have you ever heard or Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?"-Vizzini
"Yes."-Man in Black
(The Princess Bride)
"Look, father! A bear!"-Girl
"No, dear. That's a frog. Bears wear hats."-Father
(The Muppet Movie)
"What the hell did he ever say to make you try so hard?-Billy Sunday
"Be the best."-Carl Brashear
"Well, you are."-Billy Sunday
(Men of Honor)
"Who is she? She's very lovely."-Queen Constantina
"A vision... Why, if I were young again..."-King
"Yes, dear?"-Queen Constantina
"Well, I'd be younger, wouldn't I?"-King
"Yes, dear."-Queen Constantina
"We're going to catch those thieves red-handed."-Kermit
"What color are their hands now?"-Miss Piggy
(The Muppet Movie)
"No, Mr Heckels, we're not making any noise."-Phoebe
"You're disturbing my oboe practice."-Mr. Heckles
"You don't even play the oboe!"-Phoebe
"I could play the oboe."-Mr. Heckles
"Well, then I'll have to ask you to keep it down!"-Phoebe
"What are you studying up there?"-Palmer
Dr. Eleanor Ann Arroway: Oh, the usual. Nebulae, quasars, pulsars, stuff like that. What are you writing?"-Dr. Ellie Arroway
"The usual. Nouns, adverbs, adjective here and there."-Palmer
"I don't know how to thank you guys."-Fozzie
"I don't know why to thank you guys."-Kermit
(The Muppet Movie)
"Can I call you Eddie?"-Vivian
"Not if you expect me to answer."-Edward
(Pretty Woman)
"I'm going to Bombay, India, to become a movie star!"-Gonzo
"You don't go to Bombay to become a movie star. You go where we're going: Hollywood!"-Fozzie
"Sure, if you want to do it the easy way!"-Gonzo
(The Muppet Movie)
"How could you do this to me? I knew this was gonna happen!"-Bob
"You're right, Bob. I'm sorry. What can I say? I-I'm a miserable worthless hunk of slime. Here, I want you to take this crowbar and just bash my head right in. Go ahead. Really! Just BASH my head right in!"-George
"George, you know I can't do that. You still owe me 5 bucks."-Bob
"Have you any idea of appropriate baseball-watching attire?"-Frasier Crane
"Obviously, you failed to detect the subtle diamond pattern in my tie."-Niles Crane
"I feel like I have died and gone to heaven."-CC
"I have that dream, too, but you go in the other direction."-Niles
(The Nanny)
"I'm so nervous. If I'm not funny, I won't be able to live with myself!"-Fozzie Bear
"Well, then, you'll have to get another apartment, won't you?"-Dr. Bunsen Honeydew
(The Muppet Movie)
"You don't know anything about space."-Skipper
"I do know one thing. You take up more of it than do."-Gilligan
(Gilligan's Island)
"Tell me where the creatures are!"-Lord Farquaad
"All right, I'll tell you. Do you know the muffin man?"-Gingerbread Man
"The muffin man?"-Lord Farquaad
"The muffin man."-Gingerbread Man
"Why yes, I know the muffin man. The one who lives on Drury Lane?"-Lord Farquaad
"What have you done to Brad!"-Janet
"Oh, well, nothing. Why, do you think I should?"-Frank
(The Rocky Horror Picture Show)
"Scott, I want you to meet daddy's nemesis, Austin Powers."-Dr. Evil
"What? Are you feeding him? Why don't you just kill him?"-Scott Evil
"I have an even better idea. I'm going to place him in an easily escapable situation involving an overly elaborate and exotic death."-Dr. Evil
(Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery)
"Everybody really likes you, George."-Bob
"Oh. Well..."-George
"No! They do! And it's not just 'cause you're a good bowler. It's 'cause people respect you!"-Bob
"Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3,720 to 1!"-C-3PO
"Never tell me the odds!"-Han Solo
(The Empire Strikes Back) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You tried to save a sandwich from a bullet?"-Chandler
"I know this doen't make much sense..."-Joey
"MUCH sense?"-Chandler
"Dorothy? Well, what has Dorothy done?"-Uncle Henry
"What she's done? I'm all but lame from the bite on my leg!"-Miss Gulch
"You mean she bit you?"-Uncle Henry
"No, her dog!"-Miss Gulch
"Oh, she bit her dog, eh?"-Uncle Henry
"No!"-Miss Gulch
(The Wizard Of Oz)
"Of couse he had a gun. This is Texas! Everybody has a gun. My florist has a gun!"-Kathy
"I don't have a gun. My ancestors were Quakers."-Stan
(Miss Congeniality)
"Don't worry, Woody. In just a few hours you'll be sitting around a campfire with Andy making delicious hot Schmoes!"-Buzz Lightyear
"They're called "S'mores, Buzz."-Woody
(Toy Story 2)
"Are they going to help us?"-Helen
"Sure they are, they're the police. Hey, your taxes are paying their salaries. We die, they gotta take a pay cut."-Stephens
"Please, what does it always mean, this...this "Junior"?"-Sallah
"That's his name. Henry Jones...Junior."-Henry Jones
"I like "Indiana.""-Indy
"We named the *dog* Indiana."-Henry Jones
"May we go home now, please?"-Marcus Brody
"The dog?! You are named after the dog?!"-Sallah
"I've got a lot of fond memories of that dog."-Indy
(Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade)
"What's this?"-Martin
"Clam chowder. I remember Mom used to make it for you when you went ice-fishing, and I hated the thought of you sitting out here cold and hungry."-Niles
"This is clam chowder!"-Martin
"Well, what'd you expect?"-Niles
"Irish whisky! Your mother always filled it with coffee and Irish whisky! We just called it clam chowder in front of you kids."-Martin
"Is that why you got so mad that day I crumbled oyster crackers in your Thermos?"-Niles
"I've turned Prince Wendell into a dog."-The Evil Queen
"Good idea."-Wolf
(The Tenth Kingdom)
"Talk to her, dad. She's a doctor."-Jonah
"Of what? Her first name could be Doctor."-Sam
(Sleepless in Seattle)
"Well, how do you like the film?"-Statler
"I've seen detergents that leave a better film than this."-Waldorf
(The Muppet Movie)
"Naturally, it's 13. Why 13?"-Marilyn Lovell
"It comes after 12, hon."-Jim Lovell
(Apollo 13)
"You know how to chicky-race don't you?"-Buzz
"Yeah, it's all I ever do."-Jim Stark
[Buzz leaves.]
"What's a chicky-race?"-Jim Stark
(Rebel Without A Cause)
"Are the physically able to survive the trip?"-Dan Truman
"Personally, I don't see how they survived the tests."-Dr. Banks
"I want to be an explorer, like the great Magellan."-Truman
"You're too late! There's nothing left to explore!"-Teacher
(The Truman Show)
"You mean you wish to surrender to me? Very well then, I accept."-Westley
(The Princess Bride)
"They're trying to kill us!"-Henry Jones
"I know, Dad!"-Indy
"This is a new experience for me."-Henry Jones
"It happens to me all the time."-Indy
(Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade)
"Sarah! Sarah!"-Ian Malcolm
"Sarah Harding!"-Nick Van Owen
"How many Sarahs you think are on this island? Sarah!"-Ian Malcolm
(Jurassic Park, The Lost World)
"Excuse me, I think the word you're searching for is "space ranger"."-Buzz Lightyear
"The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there's preschool toys present."-Woody
(Toy Story)
"There. Look at this. See? See? I'm right again. Nobody could've predicted that Dr. Grant would suddenly, suddenly jump out of a moving vehicle."-Ian Malcolm
"Alan? Alan!"-Ellie Sattler
[Jumps out of the vehicle.]
"There's, another example. See, here I'm now by myself, uh, er, talking to myself. That's, that's chaos theory."-Ian Malcolm
(Jurassic Park)
"Look at the circles under my eyes. I haven't slept in weeks."-Lion
"Why don't you try counting sheep?"-Tinman
"That doesn't do any good; I'm afraid of 'em."-Lion
(The Wizard Of Oz)
"I just thought of something awful."-Shirley
"Some day, God willing, I'm gonna be a mother. And if my daughter comes to me and says, "Mama, I want to go to this bachelor party and come outta this cake"... what can I tell her?"-Shirley
"A lot more than most mothers!"-Laverne
(Laverne and Shirley)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~"I want my lamp back! I'm gonna need it to get out of this slimy mudhole!"-Luke
"Mudhole? Slimy? My home this is!"-Yoda
(The Empire Strikes Back)
"Go to h---!"-Billy Butcherson
"Oh! I've been there, thank you. I found it quite lovely."-Winifred Sanderson
(Hocus Pocus)
"Beware lad, beware!"-Billy Bones
"What, the one-legged man?"-Jim Hawkins
"Aye, but also, beware running with scissors or any other pointy object! It's all good fun, until someone loses an eye!"-Billy Bones
(Muppet Treasure Island)
"You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you."-Inigo Montoya
"You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die."-Wesley
(The Princess Bride)
"He's a credit to your genius, master."-Riff Raff
"A triumph of your will."-Magenta
"He's O.K."-Columbia
"O.K.? O.K.?!? I think we can do better than that."-Frank
(The Rocky Horror Picture Show)
"I like this film fine so far!"-Statler
"It hasn't started yet!"-Waldorf
"That's what I like about it!"-Statler
(The Muppet Movie)
"Professional -- baseball?"-Kit
"Mmm-hmm. They'll pay you 75 dollars a week."-Ernie
"We only make 30 at the dairy!"-Kit
Well then, this would be more, wouldn't it?"-Ernie
(A League of Thier Own)
"That's about as funny as a screen door on a battleship."-Biff
"It's "screen door on a submarine," you dork."-Marty McFly
(Back to the Future II)
"I love you."-Princess Leia
"I know."-Han Solo
(The Empire Strikes Back)
"Can you move at all?"-Westley
"Move? You're alive! If you want I could fly."-Buttercup
"I told you I would always come for you. Why didn't you wait for me?"-Westley
"Well, you were dead."-Buttercup
"But death cannot stop true love...All it can do is delay it for awhile."-Westley
(The Princess Bride)
"You killed my father!"-Buzz Lightyear
"No Buzz, I am your father."-Emperor Zurg
(Toy Story 2)
"I would much rather cancel the show than have my girls blown up."-Kathy
"Especially without their knowledge"-Stan
(Miss Congeniality)
"Tell us where the talking llama is and we'll burn your house to the ground."-Yzma
"Don't you mean "or"?"-Kronk
"Tell us where the talking llama is or we'll burn your house to the ground."-Yzma
(The Emperor's New Groove)
"Why are you dressed like somebody died?"-Amanda
(Addams Family Values)
"I don't trust this kid any further than I can throw him."-Ed Rooney
"Well with your bad knee Ed, you shouldn't throw anybody."-Grace
(Ferris Bueller's Day Off)
"Dead Tom is dead! Long John shot him!"-First Pirate
"But Dead Tom's always been dead. That's why he's called Dead Tom."-Second Pirate
(Muppet Treasure Island)
"You found me!"-Daniel
"I wasn't looking for you."-Simon
(Over The Top)
"We're trying to find out who killed him, where and with what!"-Wadsworth
"There's no need to shout."-Professor Plum
"What kind of idiots do you have working here?"-Kate McCallister
"The finest in New York."-Mrs. Stone, Desk Clerk
(Home Alone 2)
"All's I want is some peace and quiet!"-Dr. Marvin
"Okay I'll be quiet."-Bob
"And I'll be peace!"-Siggy
(What About Bob?)
"But is the FBI in the habit of cleaning up after multiple murder?"-Professor Plum
"Yes. Why do you think it's run by a man called Hoover?"-Wadsworth
"What's this all aboot?"-Mountie
"We have ways of making you pronounce the letter O, pal."-Roy Boy
(Canadian Bacon)
"Please pass the salt."-Wednesday
"And what do we say?""-Morticia
(The Addams Family)
"What are we gonna do?"-Sloane
"The question isn't "What are we going to do?", the question is "What aren't we going to do."-Ferris
"Don't say we're not going to take the car back. Please don't say we're not going to take the car back. Please don't say we're not going to take the car back."-Cameron
"If you had access to a car like this, would you take it back right away? Neither would I."-Ferris
(Ferris Bueller's Day Off)
"Santa, what's the meaning of Christmas?"-Cindi Lou
"VENGEANCE! I mean... presents, I suppose."-Grinch
(How the Grinch Stole Christmas)
"Did you hear I graduated?"-Tommy
"Yeah and just a shade under a decade. All right."-Richard
"A lot of people go to college for seven years."-Tommy
"Yeah, they're called doctors."-Richard
(Tommy Boy)
"You know, I've been allergic to cats all my life, but at the pet morgue, nothing. Turns out I'm not allergic to dead cats."-Paul
"Then you should definitely get one."-Carter
(Spin City)
"Here we are Marv. New York City, the land of opportunity. Smell that?"-Harry
"Know what that is?"-Harry
"It's freedom."-Harry
"No, it's fish."-Marv
"It's freedom, and it's money."-Harry
"Okay, okay, it's freedom."-Marv
"Let's get out of here before somebody sees us."-Harry
"And it's fish."-Marv
(Home Alone 2)
"Professor Plum, you were once a professor of psychiatry specializing in helping paranoid and homicidal lunatics suffering from delusions of grandeur."-Wadsworth
"Yes, but now I work for the United Nations."-Professor Plum
"Well your work has not changed."-Wadsworth
"If I could go back in time I'd take back everything I said!"-Josie
"If I could go back in time, I'd meet Snoopy."-Melody
(Josie and the Pussycats)
"You can't take my mommy!"-Cindy
"Yeah! Take Jan instead!"-Marica
(A Very Brady Sequel)
"But he was your second husband. Your first husband also disappeared."-Wadsworth
"But that was his job. He was an illusionist."-Mrs. White
"But he never reappeared."-Wadsworth
"He wasn't a very good illusionist."-Mrs. White
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~"Tell me, officer, do you have any idea how fast you were going?"-State Trooper
"Well, I got a 426 hemi here, 3/4 cams, nitro boosters, I can get 'er up to as good as 155! Never do, though, of course, unless I'm chasing a cute chick in a Ferrari! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I guess I was goin' about... 65, tops."-Mike
"SEVEN! SEVEN miles an hour! And normally, when I stop people, they pull onto the shoulder!"-State Trooper
(Black Sheep)
"Would you mind telling me whose brain I did put in?"-Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein
"And you won't be angry?"-Igor
"I will NOT be angry."-Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein
"Abby someone."-Igor
"Abby someone. Abby who?"-Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein
"Abby Normal."-Igor
(Young Frankenstein)
"My son! He'll be made into marshmallows in five seconds!"-Mrs. Gloop
"Impossible, my dear lady! That's absurd! Unthinkable!"-Willy Wonka
"Why?!"-Mrs. Gloop
"Because that pipe doesn't go to the marshmallow room! It goes to the fudge room!"-Willy Wonka
(Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory)
"Are you trying to make me look stupid in front of the other guests?"-Colonel Mustard
"You don't need any help from me, sir."-Wadsworth
"That's right!"-Colonel Mustard
"This is great I never win at checkers."-Steve
"Well, it's kinda easy to win when you NEVER MOVE YOUR BACK ROW!"-Mike
(Black Sheep)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~"We're like the Mounties; we always get our man."-Wadsworth
"Mrs. Peacock was a man?"-Mr. Green
"He had always threatened to kill me in public."-Mrs. White
"Why would he want to kill you in public?"-Miss Scarlett
"I think she meant, he threatened in public to kill her."-Wadsworth
"Oh."-Miss Scarlett
"Dr. Frankenstein..."-Igor
"'Fronkensteen.'"-Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein
"You're putting me on."-Igor
"No, it's pronounced 'Fronkensteen.'"-Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein
"Do you also say 'Froaderick'?"-Igor
"No... 'Frederick.'"-Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein
"Well, why isn't it 'Froaderick Fronkensteen'?"-Igor
"It isn't; it's 'Frederick Fronensteen.'"-Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein
"I see."-Igor
"You must be Igor."-Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein
"No, it's pronounced 'eye-gor.'"-Igor
"But they told me it was 'ee-gor.'"-Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein
"Well, they were wrong, weren't they?"-Igor
(Young Frankenstein)
"And are you the host?"-Colonel Mustard
"Me, sir? No, I'm just the humble butler."-Wadsworth
"And what exactly is it you do here?"-Colonel Mustard
"I buttle, sir."-Wadsworth

Any quote marked with a ** at the begining and at the end** is a quote from my upcoming novel.